Living Deliberately...and Thoreau...

As Henry David Thoreau so eloquently put it:

I went to the woods because I wished to live deliberately, to front only the essential facts of life, and see if I could not learn what it had to teach, and not, when I came to die, discover that I had not lived. I did not wish to live what was not life, living is so dear; nor did I wish to practise resignation, unless it was quite necessary. I wanted to live deep and suck out all the marrow of life, to live so sturdily and Spartan-like as to put to rout all that was not life, to cut a broad swath and shave close, to drive life into a corner, and reduce it to its lowest terms, and, if it proved to be mean, why then to get the whole and genuine meanness of it, and publish its meanness to the world; or if it were sublime, to know it by experience, and be able to give a true account of it in my next excursion.



That pretty much sums up where I am in my life...living deliberately. I like that notion. It came to me today while I was stocking cosmetics. Now this is certainly a menial task, and well someone with a degree an um teen years of management, probably should not be stocking shelves. But you know something...I enjoy it. What I think I like about it is the instant gratification...I fill a hole...and another and another until the shelf looks full...complete. And in that moment I get a "well done" thought in my head. Could anyone do it? Sure. Is it going to change the world? No, certainly not...but in that moment...I have done something with my hands...and I like that feeling.

I used to get great satisfaction from financial success...for companies...or seeing my goals met...but not any lasting feeling of simple pleasure. So I began to think about what really makes me happy. And you know...it is simple things...gardening, painting a wall, or decorating a home...I enjoy painting, photography, sewing, and just about anything that gives me that sublime moment of completion...as a manager you are never finished...there is no moment of ....it is finished. But when you create something with your hands...when you see the product finished...it is a joyful moment.

I love to cook for the same reason...it is an art to me. I love collecting recipes...and preparing dishes for friends and family...for that exact moment...when it is finished...and all gather to consume what I have created with my hands...

I would say in my life the things that have mattered most have all been connected with creating something...seeing it grow, completing it. In a sense...I have been living a life...deliberately.

Everything I do, witness, create, feel, sense, learn...is all done with such depth....I wonder how sometimes I could feel so lonely then? Perhaps I define this in terms that others may not understand...or perhaps I simply want to share all of this wonder...this lust for life...with someone who shares the same...deliberateness...

Even when life is difficult there is something vital in the difficulty. I overcame cancer...a loss of a job, financial ruin...and a year of struggling to find work in a place that was strange to me. But, when I think about it...other than a few behaviors that I would prefer to forget, I not only survived it all...I thrived. And I think I could...because I believe that all along I was living my life with deliberateness...awareness...and no resignation to my plight...but simply a daily move...to keep going and all the while stripping the layers of my onion.

All possessions gone...no money to speak of...lost to paying medical bills...no certain future...yet never losing that "knowledge", that I would make it...that I could make it.

I think when you work with your hands...when you create something...you are not thinking about yourself...you actually don't think at all...you are in a sense....outside of yourself...and the only thing you need to do...is to complete the task. Whether it is building a skyscraper, repairing a car...or simply casting a line in to the water...we all need to be active...and actively living.

Each day I spend on this wonderful blue dot...I am more hopeful for mankind. Unlike the doom and gloom club, I am inclined to believe in us...why? Because we are marvelous...simply marvelous...and even those of us who stray...or are flawed...are part of the glory of it all.

So...when I spoke to a friend tonight that was complaining about not having the "Christmas Spirit"...I began to talk to her about her fondest memories...of my experiences with customers and co workers at the store....of music that I have been listening to...or the boats that I watched last night...all decorated with lights...parading for people like me...to sit in joyful awe of the beauty of it...the celebration of it...and although I was alone...I stood with hundreds of my fellow human beings...smiling...oohing and ahhing...as the colorful lights drifted by.

Now...certainly I will be alone this Christmas...and certainly I would love to be with family....loved ones...but I guess on Christmas day...I will find a place or a moment to be part of it all...Church for one.

Now...if you are feeling blue this holiday season...go bake some cookies...or paint a ceramic village house...or purchase a toy for Toys for Tots...or simply go to the town square...where you live...and enjoy the hustle and bustle of people busy with their shopping...

And if that doesn't do it for you...remember Thoreau...

Friends do not live in harmony merely, as some say, but in melody

The melody for me sounds like this...




Now...how can you not be in a good mood...really...truly...

Love,
The Lass...living deliberately