saint or social worker?

There are people who lead two lives...well that would be most of us. There is the exterior self...that the world sees and judges, then there is the interior self, that is where we really reside. Sometimes...even our icons...lead two lives...Like Mother Teresa.

Those people who have gravitated to her over the years, like to bring up her name and sometimes even associate with others, like Lady Di...which on the face of it seems absurd to me...but here lies the question...for Catholics...is she a saint? or a good social worker?

The difficulty in viewing people like Mother Teresa is we know her through so many different lenses...the one she used for herself I believe to be the most accurate...what others think...is no where near what we know of ourselves.

As a Catholic nun, Mother Teresa was given to have confessors, who she would confide her most dark thoughts...and doubts, and they were many. Her wishes were to have all of the confessions and letters destroyed upon her death...however, that did not happen...why? Because the Church deemed to have her beatified as a saint...and so...her other self has now been revealed...and the question for the Church is clear...Saint? or Social Worker?

I am not going to say that she was either...you see...she was a woman who struggled with all of the complexities and loneliness that a person could. She was human...frail and like all people who stand in the dark...trying to light the way, she suffered. It is easy to use her name...as if to say...you believe in what she stood for...but to understand what she suffered and how she suffered you would have to have lived her suffering.

Did she have doubts and questions...some..and at times...she also had surety...but who she was is complex and those who want to understand that relative to the Church, need to remember another saints confessions...

It is a brotherly mind that I wish for... a mind which is glad for me when it sees good, sorry for me when it sees bad, because whether it sees good or bad, it loves me. It is to good people I shall show myself, hoping that in my good they will be glad, and in my evil, be sad. And I pray that you, Lord ...may have mercy upon me according to Thy great mercy for thine own namesake, and, in no way forsaking what you have begun, perfect my imperfections. --St Augustine, Confessions, X.IV Mother Teresa said her work with the poor and outcasts was possible because she saw the face of Jesus in everyone. Her 're-birth' happened, so perhaps her dryness, doubt and darkness were to keep her humble and maybe to deliver a message to 21st century Christians?

In the Christian tradition, the "dark night" can occur in anyone who has developed a strong prayer life and consistent devotion to God. The trauma they experience when their traditional form of prayer become difficult and unrewarding, are akin to the abandonment Jesus expressed as he was dying on the cross when he quoted Psalm 22:1, "My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?" Matthew 27: 46

An individual experiencing the dark night of the soul will feel as though God has suddenly abandoned them, but in the spiritual realm, the dark night is believed by mystics to be a blessing in disguise; a refining and the ultimate testing of one's faith.

The spiritual journey lasts a lifetime and is all about change; awakening and evolving from an infant into a spiritually mature being. What many Christians refer to as their "born again" experience tends to be an emotional moment and often can be the very end of their maturation. Believing one has arrived, that one has been 'saved' neglects St. Paul's warning "to continue to work out your salvation in fear and trembling, for it is God who works in you to will and to act according to his good purpose." -Philippians 2:12-13

The Hebrew prophet Micah illuminated, "What does God require? He has told you o'man! Be just, be merciful, and walk humbly with your Lord." -Micah 6:8

To paraphrase 1 Corinthians 3: 1-2; brothers and sisters, you are not yet spiritual, but mere infants in Christ. You have been fed with milk, not solid food, for you are still not ready for it.

Perhaps Mother Teresa's confessions of doubt in the midst of her perseverance and compassionate mercy to the least among us will lead to the spiritual growth for many, "because at times the en kindling of love in the spirit grows greater, the yearnings for God become so great in the soul that the very bones seem to be dried up by this thirst, and the natural powers to be fading away, and their warmth and strength to be perishing through the intensity of the thirst of love, for the soul feels that this thirst of love is a living thirst."- St. John of the Cross

Jesus promised that "Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled."-Matthew 5:6

But he never promised the spiritual life would be a walk in a rose garden.

I spoke today with El Cid about this...and we discussed the difficulties of finding balance with temporal holiness and spiritual. The tests are endless and the difficulties sometimes hard to traverse...however, the one thing we agreed on...is that this temporal plane...is not and easy one...but the inner self...the soul's search for God...is constant...and at times dark...for that is what we struggle with...that is the suffering of finding our spiritual selves.

What I do hope is that those "spiritual" people who like to use her name and image as an icon of love...understand...that this woman had little given to her in her life time...as she reveals here...

Lord, my God, who am I that You should forsake me? The Child of your Love—and now become as the most hated one—the one—You have thrown away as unwanted—unloved. I call, I cling, I want—and there is no One to answer—no One on Whom I can cling—no, No One.—Alone … Where is my Faith—even deep down right in there is nothing, but emptiness & darkness—My God—how painful is this unknown pain—I have no Faith—I dare not utter the words & thoughts that crowd in my heart—& make me suffer untold agony.

So many unanswered questions live within me afraid to uncover them—because of the blasphemy—If there be God —please forgive me—When I try to raise my thoughts to Heaven—there is such convicting emptiness that those very thoughts return like sharp knives & hurt my very soul.—I am told God loves me—and yet the reality of darkness & coldness & emptiness is so great that nothing touches my soul. Did I make a mistake in surrendering blindly to the Call of the Sacred Heart?

—[By Mother Teresa]

Did she believe in God? She asked this..."Jesus has a very special love for you," she assured Van der Peet. "[But] as for me, the silence and the emptiness is so great, that I look and do not see, — Listen and do not hear — the tongue moves [in prayer] but does not speak ... I want you to pray for me — that I let Him have [a] free hand."

Was she a social Worker?

The other side:







Here is the complex part of what is known...and what is not known.

How do we deal with it?

We do not make icons of virtue. Do we need to remember? Christ said it simply..."love each other." He did not say: "and when you do...become a celebrity and celebrate your giving...those who brag about being good or kind to the less fortunate most assuredly have found a way to market their spirituality and goodness...thank goodness there is a never ending supply of the needy...

So...I ask again...saint or social worker

I will leave it to you to decide....

Love,
The Lass