everlasting...and a mother and daughter talk.

Strange how a mother is always a mother...no matter how old their daughter or son is. That relationship remains...constant. So, this weekend I spoke with my mother of 73 years about marriage and love. My mother and father divorced after 16 years of marriage. My mother never remarried. Although she had several relationships...all of which were based on friendship, and all of the men...loved my mother, deeply. The problem was, my mother never met her match. She loved them, but knew that ultimately the marriage would fail...because they were not her match...and my mother, knowing this, understood the lonely path she chose...and one that I too would follow after 10 years of marriage, I spent the next 21 years alone....unlike my mother, never having a relationship with another man.

So my mother and I spoke about this, as time for her is winding down, and time for me, to finally ask the question...Why? Why didn't I meet anyone? Why?

My mother of course knows me better than anyone...and understood the question. Her answer was both illuminating and liberating.

"You, eldest daughter, could not date...you don't have casual anything in life. You, have spent your entire life...building relationships from the ground up. You ask your friends, how they came to love you, and you will understand what I mean."

My mother was right. I never really thought about it. But, for me, there would have to be friendship first...and last. Because we simply do not fail our friends, and although we may disagree...we never fail to remain faithful...in our friendships. Even as the years moved on...and that I never had the opportunity to have with a man...that would lead to the great something called chemistry...that would lead to the great relationship called marriage.

I suppose some would try to analyze why I didn't meet anyone...but I think I may have...and simply may not have been ready. Or perhaps he was not ready for me. In any case, my mother and I agree on one thing. Being lonely alone...is really easy. When you fill your life with "other" loves, and stay vital in life's wonders...but to find yourself sleeping with an intimate stranger, would for me...and my mother...be like death...and that could not happen.

My mother suggested I should examine what I want now...and how to change things...I would like to share my life with someone, my friend, lover, companion. But, how to do that...well, not so easy...especially at 53...but one thing I know, there are very few women who can claim a man called her from his death bed, to simply speak some of his final words to a woman he loved and liked... That is a testimony to who my mother is. And the men she knew, understood that. A rare bread indeed.

As for everlasting love...my wise maternal guide told me about this project...a quest for learning the secret of great marriages...and then offered one last word of advice..."forgive yourself for being foolish, never second guess, and always remember, if you are out there...so is he, next time you meet each other, make sure you remember to say "hello"...that is a good beginning."

So, to share a little trailer of what I believe is a great documentary...and for those who don't believe in everlasting love...sit back, and enjoy a little picture of some best friends, who remained lovers...everlasting.

OH...and if you ever meet the "one"...maybe you just need to smile and say...Hello.