a passing of a friend...across the pond

It is always difficult to lose someone you care about. John is no exception, even though we met in person only briefly, John is a person who I remained in contact with for a lifetime....so is his wife Ann. My dearest friends from across the pond.

Back in 1985 I was invited to spend time with a wonderful couple who lived in England...and that is a story in itself.

I was separated from my husband...and going through some very difficult times...doubting myself, doubting God, doubting everything. I suppose you could say...I had detached from life...and was wallowing in self pity. It is a luxury of the grieving...to wallow...It is a place of pain, and sometimes we just need to experience it to move on...but if we allow ourselves to wallow too long...we get stuck...not good.

During my wallowing, I decided to treat myself to an evening of dinner and entertainment. I dressed up, and invited myself to join myself at a wonderful spot in Mildford, MI...for dinner. I looked good, felt good, and thought..."get out of the rut...you wallower."

The place I chose was perfect. The menu was perfect for a lass who is eclectic in her dining tastes, and there was a live band with a dancing floor. Now remember, this is many years ago and miles away from the dinner clubs of today. But, there I was sitting at a table next to the dance floor...forcing myself out of a rut.

While ordering my lamb and rice pilaf dinner, the band began to play...Wonderful Tonight...from Eric Clapton...and that is when I first saw Ann and John. I spied the two walking to the dance floor, a couple in their early forties and having the look of a couple who were indeed in love...in an old shoe kind of way. They began to dance...deftly. He held her gently, and she moved gracefully on the floor. They were making love...on the dance floor...it was rapture...as I saw it.

I suppose that I became fixed on the two...and it made me smile inside...to be a witness to the two lovers...and then it struck me...words of another tune came shooting into my mind...

Play us a song we can slow dance
On we wanna hold each other
Play us a groove so we hardly move
Just let our hearts be together
Oh baby 'cause it feels so good
When we're close like this
Whisper in my ear
And let me steal a kiss...and I understood the words...for the first time...and my rut was about to disappear.

The song ended and the couple returned to their table...then the fateful moment. John got up and came over to me. I thought..."Oh my God...he saw me looking at them...he is going to say something...like..."what are you staring at."...I would be humiliated by my smile..."

John's bright eyes were jovial...and he leaned over and said..."My wife noticed that you were dining alone...would you like to join us?" "Whew", I had not made a social faux pas...even better, I would join this couple for dinner and conversation...and perhaps get to see them dance once more...

But there was no more dance...just wonderful conversation for hours...we closed the place, which frequently happens with me. And an invitation to England. Ann and John were in the US...because of John's work. He was at the end of a year working at the Milford Proving Ground for General Motors. John, was an engineer for General Motors and had been to the US many times...and Ann was his wife of 20 years...who made the journey with him.

So it was that I would make the journey to England. A chance meeting became a life time friendship...albeit through cards and letters...and then today the letter came. Ann's love...John, had died. Ann's letter is private as to the details...but...I understood her pain...and it made me feel the loss of opportunity to share in their lives...so many trips I didn't take...a lesson in life...never say no to chance...

Today I am off work...completing tasks...and thinking about John...Ann...and viewing wonderful pictures of my trip so many years ago. Ann is in failing health as well...one of the things she shared is that she was grateful that John did not suffer, and that she is ready to join him...I believe she is. One of the things she always said..."I don't think I could live without him..." These two shared a lifetime of memories...they had no children, just each other. However, they invited the world to share their lives...one person at a time...like me...a stranger across the pond.

So...to Ann, I send my love and my gratitude...for the dance, the dining, and the dedication to a friendship both of you showed me over the years.



To...John..the man who danced...through life.

Love,
The Lass